The young pianist and the young guitarist in the band room, 1984

I'm a hippy. I grew up on hippy music and, well, jazz. You know, hipster music. I love it all. It's been a blessed life of never ending discovery. I've learned to appreciate music from all over this planet.

Years ago, I mean, many years ago when I was in high school there was another student who was a pretty amazing classical pianist. We went to Centennial High School, a public school which is a part of Ellicott City Maryland and this kid was as much of an oddball as I. He went to a bi-weekly lesson in Philadelphia to study with a guy who studied with a guy who studied with a guy who studied with Franz Liszt or Chopin or one of those cats. This kid wore nice clothes, the kind of clothes that gets you ridiculed by other kids, suits and bow ties. I had my hush puppies, jean jackets, a funny mustache and a big afro. Not exactly dressed in the current fashion and I got ridiculed plenty for it too.  He came off as a bit stiff, maybe arrogant, removed from the rest. Kinda like me in my own way. I wasn't stiff, but I was scared, and certainly my arrogance showed cause it was my way of being safe and ugh, "superior."

I can't say that was his experience but can say that we probably had a lot more in common than I could see then.

I did my four years there, he vanished after about a year hopefully to move into a safer setting. You know, one of those gifted and talented schools. I may have been gifted or talented but the thought of going into a program like that was "uncool" to a kid like me.

One day we were in the music room during our lunch break. Probably just a good place for us to hide out from the bully ways of many of our peers. He was practicing his concert pieces and I was quietly playing some acoustic guitar on one of the schools cheap Yamaha gut string instruments. We actually had a guitar program led by Ms. Ruckert thank god.

He asked me what was I playing and I told him "oh I'm just making stuff up." He then asked "How do you do that?"

I replied "I don't really know, I just learned some scales and I just kinda do it." I then asked him "How the hell do you do what you do?"

The kid had chops.... Whether I liked his musical choices or not I was amazed by his ability!

I don't remember his reply. We weren't friends, just 2 misfits escaping school life for forty minutes.

Now, don't get me wrong. I would not have wanted his life which was undoubtedly headed towards winning competitions and maybe, at least in my young point of view, restrictive. I liked the illusion of being 'free' that I hung on to in those days. I was also hellbent on the ridiculous idea of being "self taught" like Jimi Hendrix as if that's any real virtue. And no, I do not believe in that any longer, I don't even think Jimi was "self taught." It's more likely that he was just brilliant, talented, imaginative and learned guitar from cats who learned something on guitar last week. Any of the old jazz players I knew, that's how they learned, on the bandstand from folks that were better than they were. And that's still gaining instruction. In today's life, ask me anything and I'll share. I love to help another!

So anyway, back to the subject. I went on about my life with all that pride that I could just make stuff up and all, and it served me well. And I have zero regrets. It's fun to jam. It's even more fun to invent.

And now I find joy in composing. I'm really no different than the young guitarist in that band room and I'm probably more like the young pianist now too. Composing is writing down an improvisation to me. And oddly enough I'm finding a new quality of freedom in the process. I can write a melody and when I get tired of it I can choose any note to start another direction. It's fun to find my way back home, and overwhelming cause, there's so much freedom it becomes daunting to make choices. Sometimes I'll limit myself to a few notes, other times explore whatever comes to mind.

It's a way slower process. I like that most days and some days I don't. I'm learning a new level of patience. It takes weeks to get something under my fingers and sometimes months for it to become music to my ears.

The young pianist in the music room. Something I didn't understand about the life of a classical musician was the choice to be an interpreter. I didn't understand much beyond the notes on a written page. I couldn't understand what made someone like Sonnenberg or Horowitz or Segovia so compelling. And having been surrounded by the free improvisation scene much of my life, who could be really critical of the classical musician calling them 'cover bands' or 'craftspeople, not artist', that never resonated with me. Few spoke of discipline, interpretation and some of the things I really admire. If there's one wish I had for my young self, it would be to keep an open mind. I lost out on melody big time. Something I'm obsessed with today. And actively composing, learning other pieces, my improvising has become far more melodic, I take more risk and feel I have a more solid foundation to build on.

It feels good to admit this at my age, and to start over again. I'll never stop improvising whether in the moment or with pencil and paper. I'll just always choose growth and curiosity over fear from here on.

I often wonder about that piano kid. He's grown up now of course. I do not remember his name so I can't cyberstalk him (social media creeps me out!!!). I wonder if he ever learned to "just make things up"? I wonder if that little insignificant moment in a high school band room has had an impact on him at all? Or did he just move on and become a fine concert pianist? Did he do like many and give up playing to do something one can make six figures at doing? Is he composing or performing brain surgery or working retail somewhere? What's his take on musical freedom? What's mine?

-J  4/18/2020

What have I been doing for the past year?

It's been over a year since I last wrote here, and now that the world has stopped I have time to reflect and share again.

Over the last 4-5 years I've had a return to my roots. As a teenager I studied a bit of classical guitar and really loved it. I especially loved the weaving of 2 melodies together in counterpoint. I studied with a good local teacher named Bruce Casteel in Columbia Maryland. He had some great classical students, some who went on to prestigious conservatories, then he had fellows like me. I don't think he saw me as particularly disciplined, and he was probably right, so he never put me on a method book or anything like that. And truth be told I would probably have fled if he did. Being a young, frightened, egotistical teenager I was 'better than everyone' while at the same time was 'the bottom of the worst.' Neither of which was true but that's what a good dose of fear does to the mind.

Bruce had a house full of fine classical guitars. Ramirez, Dauphin, Marzal and some ones I don't remember. They were expensive. Minimum $2000 in the 80's. A vintage Stratocaster was about five hundred bucks and I was a Jimi head. So, I'll let you figure out what I decided.

But Bruce put up with me. He had a wild side too and taught me how to improvise. Scales, modes etc. My brother and I would make up songs in whatever mode was presented just to learn the mode and not be bored playing the 'blues box.'

I also got into composing. I wrote 2 or 3 pieces and figured I'm no Bach so I gave it up. Much like I did with drawing and writing stories. I was so hard on myself then. In fact if playing blues rock, psychedelic music didn't come relatively easy to me I may not have pursued music at all and I wouldn't be writing this blog post.

So fast forward. Not writing my biography today here....

After years of playing in bands and having limited success, a good personal economic meltdown in 2010 which led me to re-examine every choice in my life, I found a Carcassi guitar method book at Sam Ash on 34th street. I had glued my moms busted Silvertone "Classic Folk" guitar back together and found myself just doing the exercises in there daily with the same energy as when I was a teenager. See, I used to practice my scales hours daily. It was obsession. I was waaaaay too lazy to play video games, too much work, but practicing scales and songs, that was just fun for me.

So I started learning pieces out of that Carcassi book. The Stratocaster doesn't really interest me any more so I started seeking out good guitars which I find to be completely fascinating. The Torres design, the Hauser spin on it and all that followed. In short I fell in love with making music again. I fell in love with the instrument again.And I've fallen in love with composing again except this time I don't really care if my pieces are genius or even any good at all. I just enjoy writing and  enjoy practicing.

When I hit that 'self taught' wall I found a great teacher for me on Craigslist named Carlos Pavan. So happens he's a composer so I see him weekly to discuss and perform my new works with him. It's so worth it to invest in oneself and I'm so grateful he's around.

So for the last year I've been working on my second solo LP. I was hoping to record it this summer and have it out in the fall but the world is on pause today so I have no idea what to do. I am taking advantage of this time to make my compositions better, challenge myself and practice. I'm taking the gentle approach, no hard deadlines, little self criticism, and a lot of help and support from loved ones.

When it will be ready I have no idea. There may not even be a vinyl record maker left standing when we get through this sad and brutal time. Right now it's just about one day at a time and love thy neighbor. That's enough for me. But stay posted, I'll be here writing music and pages like this.

Take care everyone. Let's ride this out and re-build when we can.

-J

Photo: Matt Licari
Guitar: John Vergara

Tatay #2! Cheap classical guitars.

Just got this one in the mail, another Tatay no. 13.

Outside of the cosmetics it is nothing at all like my #1. Completely different sound. A remarkably nice sound for sure, lots of bass. I set it up with LaBella hard tension strings. My other one ha medium hard. I think those suit these guitars a bit better.

I read one Tatay fan say the tone color is "Orange". That's the color that comes to mind on this one.

My other one, I have no idea of the era it was built in. I believe it to be much older. This one has a slimmer more comfortable neck whereas my #1 us bigger and I'd say while it's comfortable it's more 'crude'. But that being said, everything about the construction of this guitar is more 'crude'!

My #1 sports some nice rosewood back and sides (I don't know if it's Brazilian, it's definitely rosewood) whereas this one is Mahogany.

This is now my throw it in the gig bag and schlep it to lessons guitar. I like it. Still more inspiring to me than any guitar made now in a similar price bracket. My Favilla is going to a friend, glad to send it to him.

There is little information about this brand, would love to know more. Supposedly the earlier ones were luthier built. My #1 feels and appears to have a lot more attention dedicated to making it. This one seems not too different than other factory made Spanish guitars I've played. Better than many of them but definitely not a "serious" guitar.

Still, worth every penny I paid for it. It does sound quite nice and projects the way I like it to!

-J

One of my favorite things....Tatay Classical Guitar. And a story.

When I was a teenager I studied with an interesting teacher named Bruce. He was largely a classical player, made his living performing and giving lessons. Around my house my mom always had a couple nylon string guitars. A battered Silvertone that was wrecked by some renters who put steel strings on it (I found it neglected in the basement 4 years ago and glued it back together, hence starting my new path). and she had a beautiful Giannini made in Brazil that we bought at Music and Arts Center in Catonsville. She played a few folk songs and a wrote some as well, taught me my basic chords. I think she and my dad knew something about the importance of learning classical, maybe it was intuition or just their generation.

I just wanted to rock. I wanted electric. I wanted a Stratocaster. I wanted to skip all that.

My mom taught me my first chords. My dad showed me how to change the strings. In a panic I started the day before high school as I sucked at everything else. How was I going to fit in? I liked Jimi. Rock stars were cool.

So I advanced quickly. My dad bought my first Stratocaster, an awful late 70's model, at Bills Music house in Catonsville. His words: "I'll do this, but you need to show me results or you gotta pay me back in a year." I didn't need prompting, but I'll say this. That was probably the best thing he ever did for me. A great lesson in accountability. So grateful for that moment. I worked my ass off. And $389 in 1983 was way more than a 15 year old can afford cutting grass!

I loved Jimi, Keith, Clapton, but I always had a thing for nylon strings. We had a couple Carlos Montoya records on the shelf, along with Getz/Gilberto. And I had a deep secret admiration for the kids in the school orchestra program. I was always a bit envious of them. Secretly envious. So I was glad to have studied with Bruce.

But there was a couple things off about it. He started me on Bach's Bouree and Gavotte. I can certainly play those now but at the time, these were over my head. In hindsight I was one who could have benefitted from a method book. Just exercises and scales and patterns and easier songs. I wasn't the type to rise to the challenge partly cause other things came so easily to me. So I gave up. Bruce worked with me on improvisation, Indian classical scales and other things. Understand, this was a teacher who sent people to Juliard. I simply felt I wasn't 'good enough' even though I enjoyed so much else he had to share. I am grateful to him, he was a great fellow and very cool teacher. I had my youthful impatience and arrogance to contend with as well. I may not have accepted the direction a stricter classical regimen would have offered anyway. But, I now see the importance of it. That foundational stuff.

On top of that, I knew a good instrument when I played one. 6 months after getting my '79 Stratocaster I tried a '66 and immediately knew that for another $165 I would have a far superior instrument. That thing sang, mine coughed!! Price $550 (custom color Lake Placid Blue!!). I paid $389. Ugh. Dad wasn't interested in a brat who needed an upgrade! And I wasn't really a brat so I didn't whine about it. Best to love what you got and I did just that!

Bruce had a house full of classical and Flamenco guitars. I played a few. Prices started around $2k! I had a Yamaha that I bought from him for $75. It was decent... but, next to a Ramirez of Dauphin, pure sadness.

Nice classical for $2k+ or real Stratocaster for around $500. I went that direction.

Yup, my choice. Not pointing fingers here. And it was a good choice. I made a lot of people happy with all that sound.

So fast forward too many years and I recover my mothers beat ass Silvertone, glue it back together and record some tracks with it. Cheap, plywood, nylon string guitar. Really crappy. And I fell in love again. My electrics sit on the wall and I'd pick that thing up daily.

Last year a friend was visiting and we went into Main Drag music in Williamsburg and I upgraded to a 40's made Favilla. Again, not a great guitar but better than that Yamaha. I went to Sam Ash and bought the Carcassi Method For Guitar book and have been practicing daily out of it. I have no agenda, I don't aspire to be a concert guitarist at the age of 50 here, I just enjoy playing it so much and it's showing up in my own music in ways I didn't think would happen. My days off I'm up to 4+ hours.

So I needed to get something better. I've been working hard and wanted to treat myself. I played an incredible Ramirez from about 1903. Over $10K!!!! If cost were no object I'd own that guitar. It's stunning and has such a beautiful sound. But my rule is if I'm making a big purchase from my fun money account, I need to have double that in there. I don't have that and would rather work towards a house!

I'm good at finding interesting guitars that make me happy. I wanted something old, made in Spain, had to have Brazilian rosewood back and sides, and a nice sound and playability. I came across this Vincente Tatay........

It was hard to find any information on these about price. Lots of forum confusion. I did find a later New York produced one for $2k on a website that only has high end classical guitars (that one is beautiful!) and Retrofret had one listed for $3200 that sold for an unknown offer. I know that shop, great place and they usually get close to their asking price.

Neither guitar looked like this. And most Tatay guitars sell for considerably less. I mean, we're talking $100-$300!

Early ones are supposedly luthier produced, later they built a large factory and made a ton of instruments. This one was $1200. I didn't feel great about that price but decided to take a gamble. It fit what I was looking for: all solid wood including beautiful rosewood back and sides, ancient, the owner liked it quite a bit. Projection is good he says. The label we couldn't find....

So, I decided to go for it. Yes, I probably overpaid, I just found another similar one for a whopping $295! Bought that one as well.......Different label inside, probably later but same beautiful cosmetics.

Once I restrung it and set it up to my liking I found that I absolutely love this guitar. It's very warm, nice deep bass and clear highs. No, it's not as refined as that beautiful Ramirez but, I did get to play them side by side and found myself not feeling that wanting feeling on the Tatay. It's worth every penny of my hard earned $1200 to me. Plus it has that unusual "who made it" thing I like. Best part is, I do not want to put it down. When I need to go out on a date, go to earn a pile of money....I get bummed cause I just want to keep playing, keep improving, keep enjoying the sound. The only bug about this guitar was the intonation, but I fixed that and now I never want to put it down!

So if you are looking for a really good instrument that isn't worth it's weight in gold, do consider trying one of these out. It's important to have a guitar you love. It keeps the energy going forward.

Next step, find another instructor to help me get to the next level. I'm ready, more humble, more patient, and doing it for no other reason that the joy of playing. I like this chapter the best....


More photos:

Oh yes, Rosette is quite beautiful on this model. Has pearl and nice wood, much like the Ramirez I tried. I do like a beautiful instrument:

-JB