How did you get so good?

I love this question....how did you get so good?

I get asked this by my kid students all the time. "How do you do that? How did you get good at that?"

I do my best to let them know it's an exercise in persistence, appreciating the little bit you did learn already and all that good stuff.

I've been in a real woodshed period. Lots of hours practicing classical guitar, lots of hour practicing my saxophone. The fruits are starting to show and it feels good. I feel good. I don't yet know what it's for or why I do this, but have just surrendered to it and accepted the mystery. I'm having this weird temporary experience called life bookended by 2 great mysteries. I could haven been a soldier, fireman, wall street guy, engineer, father, but chose to make music and dedicate my time to this activity that brings me almost no money but a lot of joy.

So I was recently at a party with my parents. The host and his friend had a little jam session and they played some classics. I had my guitar in the car so I went and grabbed it to sit in. Some of the folks were astounded. One guy was near tears talking to me. I was moved by that. I didn't know it was possible.

He asked me how I got to this place......

It sounds bitter but it's not. I looked around and thought "well, other than my 5 year old niece and the 2 teenagers here, I'm the only person in this room who has probably never been married and who doesn't have a family...."

I didn't say this out loud, but the thought naturally popped into my head.

This has been a lonely existence. I'm quite sane but accept that I'm not easy to be around either. There is always melodies in my head, things I'm working out musically, solving this seemingly unending puzzle. 90% of my days I'm quite okay being alone. I'm defensive of my time. The minute I'm sharing too much of my time I lose the sanity part.

One friend said something about the 'sacrifice Jef made' or something like that. It's no sacrifice. It's just my life. It's that simple. When the music is good it's all worth it. Being this age and on my own, and it's quite possible I may remain alone, I've accepted this, I best make the most of this creation. Maybe this is my child? These sounds, the few records I've been a part of. I mean, why not?

So it's not to say that all artist are difficult and are just good at being lonely creatures. I'm open to any possibility to share this life. My feelings about the whole matter can change as soon as I click publish. And certainly it's worked out for others. And I still have a long way to go before I can call myself a good musician. And I'm digging this journey. Maybe I'll someday get that good.

JB

On faith, patience and progress.

This summer, Gospel of Mars hit the 5 year mark. Five years.... how did that happen? We have our first LP coming out soon, something I knew would happen but had little idea of when.

We could have done it sooner, but really, everything happens in it's own perfect time, in it's own perfect way. And there have been plenty of setbacks with this LP. For some reason I don't feel the leat bit frustrated. It's at the pressing plant and I have no control over anything. I don't know when it will be in our hands, I just know that it will be in our hands.

There was a point in my life not long ago where everything seemed to be in a rush. I would be playing in 4 different projects, my heart may have been in one of the 4, the rest were things that 'may become successful' or projects that I felt weirdly obligated to do. I was stretched thin and not particularly happy. Everything was urgent. Life was urgent. And whatever music I had my heart in I allowed to suffer. I had little faith in it.

Then I hit bottom.

I learned to say no. It forced me to be honest. The bottom sucks but if you let it, it's the greatest teacher.

If we forced ourselves to make a record 4 years ago, it wouldn't have been very good as we weren't very good. We have a tendency to create material that is too challenging for us to play well. It takes time and persistence.

Now there isn't a sense of urgency any longer. Which is Ironic. I have 30 less years of time ahead of me than I did 30 years ago when I played my first gig. Everything was urgent. Maybe cause I'm in no hurry to die? Or maybe cause I'm just enjoying the ride, getting better on my instruments, and enjoying the company of my friends and fellow bandmates and the honor it is to create with them. These things are more important to me now. The progress is the success.

My faith is stillness is unshakeable now. Sit still, show up and do the work. Simple formula. All the good things that have happened to us happened in ways that weren't expected. We didn't shop our record at all, we just got in front of the right folks to put it out. They have faith in us. That happened at the right time, we already had the recording in the can. We still struggle getting gigs outside of 2 spots that we love, and really, do we need more places? We've built a bit of community by playing at Troost 17 times now. When it's time for us to step it up, it will happen naturally in it's own way.

I think the old me was just ego.....always forcing it's will. That's the model in our society that we're given over and over again. The forceful egomaniac gets the success. Maybe that's true, and maybe it's true that it doesn't last and doesn't make anyone happy.

And what if you're a natural introvert like I am? I can't think of a more dishonest way of life than to try to fit in with the extrovert. There is no success in dishonesty. And most days I'm now happy. Glad to serve our music and audience. Grateful that the music we make is honest and not trying to 'make it'. Happy to let the music we make take us where we are needed to go. On it's own perfect time and it's own perfect way.

JB