2/19/15 There is nothing more that I love

  There is nothing more that I love than creating music. Nothing. I spent hours creating horn parts, layering harmonies on top of one another the other night. Technology amazes me. I'm not even that good at using Pro-Tools. I still approach it like a fancy four-track.

  Doing this kind of work I know I'm in harmony with reality, nature and my true self. Time stops. I lose physical hunger and that gets replaced with a perfect hunger. All my petty problems melt away and the big, bad world with all of it's division and meanness simply vanishes.

  I'm in love with my 2 projects. Something I haven't felt for a very, very long time. I question some days if New York is good for me. It's so expensive to have space, there is so much stress here, so much ambition then I realize, New York is right now for me. Not much else matters. I like the now. The past is a dead thing, the future hasn't been written yet. When creating music I'm in love with the now and nothing else matters.

J

2/12/15....nervous gig

  Did a gig tonight. I think it went well. Hired gun gig. Don't really enjoy those. Learn some songs and play at a tiny joint called Pete's Candy. Every mistake becomes epic in my mind. "I'm no pro, who am I kidding?" Funny how the mind works like that, at least this mind does. Beat myself to death over a wrong chord. Perfectionism=the death of my own good nature. All that Berklee memory rushes to the front of my head and I start to judge the people around me. That 18 year old college boy inside me is hurt and scared and now that he lives in a 40+ year old body, he can't even express himself musically or with cocky scared schoolboy language.

  Thank god he can't open his mouth. I get to tell him what I wish someone told me back then: just listen and learn and do what you really want to do. There is love for your truth. Start by loving you dude.

  Oh well. Anyway, the audience enjoyed it and we did play well. And one mission was accomplished: I got to expand my circle of people. Make new connections, that sorta thing. It's not all just about music. It was a one night stand for me, all I can do at this point is focus on the 2 wonderful meals on my plate already. I am inspired by the hard work the other folks put into it and the assembly of a vision. That's enough. I dig it and I'm grateful to have served!

J

2/10/15....breakthroughs!

   It's been a minute since I've been on this page. Last month was January, my least favorite month. All those cheerful Christmas lights are gone and New York just looks drab and ugly. Plus, sick students, sick clients=NO MONEY! February is already way better and I'm glad I've made it to month number 2!

  Had a great performance on Saturday at Troost with Gospel of Mars. I want more performances for us. It's a good band. I have a lot of fun with us. Plus, I like being the only act on a bill. I like playing 2 sets. First set was all about the fireworks, the second was about the subtlety. By set 2 I'm usually in a state of surrender. Not unlike exercising. You get past a point where "I'm tired" doesn't have any meaning any longer. Next day I couldn't do anything except watch a Zombie Apocalypse show. Completely exhausted but in a satisfying way. 2 sets will do that. I want to give all of me away.

 


   Last night I had a good practice session on my horn. I had one major, well, 2 major breakthroughs. First was quite simple: I've been playing on this metal Otto Link mouthpiece, a #8 model. I really like it but have been getting this 'chirp' I don't like and its also quite easy for it to Kirk out and jump octave, squeak and all that stuff. I was about to send it off to my fellow in Portland for inspection/perfection when he suggested a couple things. Problem solver: ligature needed to be tighter. Twist of a screw and more practice. No more chirps, squeaks and my tone immediately got darker and more centered, just how I like it.

  I am the master of the $1000 solution to the $4 problem. This one cost me nothing but the willingness to experiment.

  Breakthrough 2: My high G# popped out. And then it popped out again, and again, then I managed to sustain it. My high G started to happen too. High F#, A, Bb, B, C, C#, and D are easy now, but that break point. Let me just tell you. I don't have the best practice habits, this I admit. But it's taken me a decade of reaching for those notes to get them, and they are getting easier every time. That feels so good, real boost of confidence!!!


   My highest notes on soprano are popping now too. I don't take soprano so seriously but still, I've had my lovely 'fish horn' since 1999 and it's taken me until now to nail high Eb-F.

  Need to celebrate that good stuff!!!

J

Photos: Efrian Gonzales

1/24/15, Gardens horn tracking...can't get enough.

Having one of those nights. It's 4am and I can't stop listening to this new track. We did the vocals last night in my apartment and tonight I recorded horns. Just needs trumpet and flute....

Just keep saying "damn".

This is going to be a sexy album. That's the vibe. I like making music for people to, um, create to.

Been watching the Twilight Zone, the original Rod Serling version of course, what else is there? I think it's having an influence. More than music. The last 4 episodes were pure poetry. Beautiful.

A message to just be cool and handle life with care.

Love to you all, J

1/21/15 Gospel of Mars creating session. My soprano is back!

Got my soprano saxophone back from being repaired at KB Saxophone services in Long Island City. Those of you who don't know Kim, he runs a world class out fit.

http://www.kbsax.com/

Aaron and I had a session tonight that we kept nice and minimal. I played my soprano only tonight. Good to play something different. Soprano kinda forces me to take a different approach all together. Mine is quiet powerful, an old Martin from the 1920's. When I bought it 15 years ago it outdid many other horns costing far more. But what I like the most about it is I can not for the life of me get that saccharine smooth jazz sound out of it. I'm sure a better horn player than I can do that but the other horns I played at the time, they seemed to love that more than they loved my concept. I get a really big and clear tone from this horn, very eastern. May be the best five hundred Washingtons I've ever spent.

I tend to play less notes on the soprano and it's easier for me to get inside the feelings I am working with. Tonight I worked with some 4 note scales. That kind of simplicity makes better music for me at times. Music thrives in constraints for me, and almost always dies in freedom. I like boundaries. They force me to explore rhythm deeper than me using all 12 notes.

J

1/22/15 Got my computer back and went to work recording.

I was sitting in my room last week thinking "God, what do I need to put down to move forward?" In other words what kind of addictive behavior is holding me back. I knew the answer but like it too much to admit it.

Half an hour later I heard this "klunk". I looked to my left slowly and saw that my MacBook Pro had fallen about off of a little box housing a Dremel tool. A distance of about 4 inches. I had this feeling of "well, that did it" and sure enough an hour later the screen went blank, I turned it off and back on and it just made this sad "beep..........beep.........beep........beep".

Well, I asked and there I had my answer. Netflix.

So it's been away from me for a few days. I immediately felt a sense of calm. This month has been really slow financially. Very little work coming my way. I don't need Mercury in Retrograde to send me a big repair bill.

Fortunately it appears it was just a loose connection inside. Mikeys Hookup rocks for taking care of my computer. And it was a good little break. I need better boundaries around my BBC mystery time. I have albums to make. I have deadlines.

So tonight I dug right in. I had the flu last week or some kind of nasty bug so I feel good today. I'm working on some more music for Gardens. Recorded some basic tracks on one song and started another.

I love overdubbing. There is nothing quite like layering for me. I love Pro Tools for that.

And most importantly, this record is going to be good. Really good. I can feel it. Damn I'm happy tonight.

Progress feels good. It's the key to human happiness, or at least my own happiness. Between this and the new direction Gospel of Mars is going in, I've never been happier in music. 2015 will have some good releases from this camp. Stay tuned!

J

1/14/15 Gospel of Mars rehearsal, really, really good rehearsal.

  Good day today. Union Pool contacted me and said they will have us play, just need to pick a time. This is a good boost, I've been trying to book the Gospel at the Pool for a while. I really love that room. So end of March we should be preaching there.

  Tonight we had a great rehearsal. It's important to cut loose and try new things. We played a really quiet set tonight in the lab, Aaron brought out a secret instrument that really set a great foundation for some really interesting music. I know things are good when it's easy for me to have sonic ideas, not just fixating on the notes but getting into the feelings, forgetting that I'm just a person with an instrument in my hands. That's real music. Doesn't happen all the time. Tonight was inspired. More soon......

We've been exploring some free form pieces. I don't really enjoy that for the most part but what has been happening with us is we've been finding themes, little motifs to play around with. Things sound composed, or maybe we've just gotten good in the vibe department. Yeah, I'm way happy with our free musics.

  Come see our secret instrument Saturday February 7th at Troost on Manhattan ave, 9pm. That's going to be a stellar evening. We are hungry and so are you. Troost is the filling station for the soul that night. Can I get an amen?

J