So I'm going through the process of looking for drummers to fill our needs in a new project. Here is a peculiar thing that I've noticed happening in our world for the last 20 years: person expresses an interest before and after hearing the music, I get excited and then.....nothing happens. Person disappears. No returned phone call, no text, no email, time feels wasted and I feel dis-respected.
I don't know what this is about but it feels like our crappy "I don't want to hurt anyones feelings" culture today. I first encountered this when I moved to Portland 20 years ago. I played with so many folks who seemed excited and said "that rocked, let's jam again". By the 3rd un-returned phone call I just had to give up. How can one be so dis-honest? If you don't want to commit, or you don't like it, or you don't like me just say so. It's not going to kill me or stop me from pursuing this vision. Just be honest.
Around 2007 I walked into a new bar that served great macaroni and cheese on Mississippi Ave and spotted a bartender I met during my early Portland years. She was a bassist I jammed with in 1996. I sat quietly waiting for my order and she kept looking at me. She finally said to me "you look familiar, do I know you?" and I replied "we've met, your name is Mary and you were married to a guy named Heath. He played drums and you played bass and you had just moved to Portland from Florida and were starting a band and we jammed one night and afterward you and Heath said thank you for coming over but you aren't what we are looking for." She looked stunned and said "damn you have a good memory!" I said "no, actually my memory is pretty crappy. It's just that in that time I had just moved here and jammed with a lot of folks and you and Heath were the only folks who were honest with me. I was really grateful about that so you 2 were the only ones worth remembering!"
They were cool. I'd love it if all of us could be so brave.
J
I don't know what this is about but it feels like our crappy "I don't want to hurt anyones feelings" culture today. I first encountered this when I moved to Portland 20 years ago. I played with so many folks who seemed excited and said "that rocked, let's jam again". By the 3rd un-returned phone call I just had to give up. How can one be so dis-honest? If you don't want to commit, or you don't like it, or you don't like me just say so. It's not going to kill me or stop me from pursuing this vision. Just be honest.
Around 2007 I walked into a new bar that served great macaroni and cheese on Mississippi Ave and spotted a bartender I met during my early Portland years. She was a bassist I jammed with in 1996. I sat quietly waiting for my order and she kept looking at me. She finally said to me "you look familiar, do I know you?" and I replied "we've met, your name is Mary and you were married to a guy named Heath. He played drums and you played bass and you had just moved to Portland from Florida and were starting a band and we jammed one night and afterward you and Heath said thank you for coming over but you aren't what we are looking for." She looked stunned and said "damn you have a good memory!" I said "no, actually my memory is pretty crappy. It's just that in that time I had just moved here and jammed with a lot of folks and you and Heath were the only folks who were honest with me. I was really grateful about that so you 2 were the only ones worth remembering!"
They were cool. I'd love it if all of us could be so brave.
J
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