Saturday, August 2, 2014

I had a dream last night that I got a great deal on a Selmer Mk 6.

  I spent the last 2 nights up the Hudson River with my dear friend Miyuki and his lovely family in their amazing house. Needed to re-charge the ol' batteries, just changed jobs and just moved into a new pad and, well, NYC can be exhausting.

  So I was in this deep sleep this morning and I had this lucid dream that I had just gotten a great deal on a Selmer Mk6 tenor sax at Wally's Music in Oregon. I had gotten tired of the key work on my old horns and to get more work I bit the bullet and bought this Selmer. I was talking to people in the dream about my justification of it, I now had a variety of necks I could try out on it blah blah and Wally's had given me $1200 for my horn which is more than I paid for it. My high end would improve etc, more work, good investment etc. I felt really stoked and had this feeling like I had passed through the fire somehow and grew up finally. Welcome to the world of sounding like someone else! I've made it!

  All the while I had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I was giving up a piece of myself, my identity, my vibe to sound like an acceptable sax player.

  Then I woke up really sad with this sense of longing for what I had. I woke up feeling like I had given in and made a terrible mistake. It took about 10 minutes to realize my old horn was still in the room and nothing had really changed. It took me the morning to remember that I love my horn and more so I love my connection to my horn.

  Not that there is anything wrong with a Selmer. Give me one and I'll take it and make the best use of it I can. Maybe it would get me more work? I don't know. I heard that was true from some people. But you know, I tried a bunch of horns the other day and I sounded like me on all of them and mine killed the others, more guts, more....me. I can't escape me, I can only accept me and work on me. All good reminders. Spending all that  money won't fix any bad habits or improve my sound. I know this already.

  Sheesh, a dream. It's amazing how deep this all gets in there......

J1

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