2 days ago I woke up and had that 10 seconds of bliss before all that craptastic anxiety poured on in and forced it's evil hand. "What the fuck am I going to do today to make my life better? I need a better job! Shit, I'm nervous about this and that and I have to do this and that and I should do this and that!"
Those evil shoulds and have to bits. Jive.
I made a plan. "The only thing that needs to happen is I need to commit 2 pieces of music to my new solo album, one that I needed to write, the other is already done I just need to capture a good take of it. I'll break for lunch at 3 and go to a local art gallery and look at whatever is there." Simple plan, part of my KISS scheme= Keep It Simple Sexy!
The first piece is difficult. It's intense. I was full of anxiety anyway. Impossible to play an intense piece well if I'm tense. Yeah, sounds counter intuitive but that's the truth. Being tense and making intense music just doesn't work. So I lit 3 candles and turned off all the lights in my room, dressed the part and did 4 takes. Got one I'm happy with. After that the song that needed lyrics, the words came to me in about 10 minutes. It's good, I really dig it. But I was still full of anxiety. Got the record done and took my break after contacting a friend about mastering etc.
Then those evil voices came in. They start right away. "It's not good, your fingerpicking sucks compares to John Fahey, you can't really sing." Then the worst of the evil comments: "What's the point. There are so many acoustic records made no one will care!"
I've learned not to listen to this mental jive but it still does hurt. I took my break, got a couple tacos from the Los Morelos Taco truck on North 7th and Bedford, a chocolate bar from Foodtown and I went to my gallery Still full of anxiety......
The work in the gallery was from 2 artist, a painter and a sculpture. Nothing that blew my mind though I liked the sculptures, they were fun. When I left I got about 2 blocks away and realized something. I had left all my troubles and anxiety at the gallery. I felt completely free for a bit. I knew it was temporary but something became so clear. This is the point. This is why we make art. It's simply to be of service. If this work could sooth my soul for a short while, maybe what I have to offer can sooth anothers soul.
I can't actually think of a better reason to follow through and make a record than that. World needs soothing. Glad to do my part.
Those evil shoulds and have to bits. Jive.
I made a plan. "The only thing that needs to happen is I need to commit 2 pieces of music to my new solo album, one that I needed to write, the other is already done I just need to capture a good take of it. I'll break for lunch at 3 and go to a local art gallery and look at whatever is there." Simple plan, part of my KISS scheme= Keep It Simple Sexy!
The first piece is difficult. It's intense. I was full of anxiety anyway. Impossible to play an intense piece well if I'm tense. Yeah, sounds counter intuitive but that's the truth. Being tense and making intense music just doesn't work. So I lit 3 candles and turned off all the lights in my room, dressed the part and did 4 takes. Got one I'm happy with. After that the song that needed lyrics, the words came to me in about 10 minutes. It's good, I really dig it. But I was still full of anxiety. Got the record done and took my break after contacting a friend about mastering etc.
Then those evil voices came in. They start right away. "It's not good, your fingerpicking sucks compares to John Fahey, you can't really sing." Then the worst of the evil comments: "What's the point. There are so many acoustic records made no one will care!"
I've learned not to listen to this mental jive but it still does hurt. I took my break, got a couple tacos from the Los Morelos Taco truck on North 7th and Bedford, a chocolate bar from Foodtown and I went to my gallery Still full of anxiety......
The work in the gallery was from 2 artist, a painter and a sculpture. Nothing that blew my mind though I liked the sculptures, they were fun. When I left I got about 2 blocks away and realized something. I had left all my troubles and anxiety at the gallery. I felt completely free for a bit. I knew it was temporary but something became so clear. This is the point. This is why we make art. It's simply to be of service. If this work could sooth my soul for a short while, maybe what I have to offer can sooth anothers soul.
I can't actually think of a better reason to follow through and make a record than that. World needs soothing. Glad to do my part.
